In the era of conscious parenting, I've come to realize that children deserve explanations for the "No's" in life. Many of the techniques I've learned about developing interpersonal skills with my child can also be applied to adult relationships. Last night on the phone with a friend, her toddler was throwing a tantrum because he was trying to eat raw chicken from the fridge. Of course she said, "No" and he broke out into crying and screaming. We discussed how hard it can be with kids when you tell them no. Today I had an idea for how I will approach these situations with my daughter, and for conflict resolution in other relationships. The steps are a serious of fill in the blank based on the situation, as follows:
I SEE: (begin with a coping technique to calm the child) I see you are upset I told you no and that you cannot eat raw chicken from the fridge.
I UNDERSTAND: I understand you are hungry and looking for something to eat.
I KNOW: I know eating raw chicken will make you very sick.
WE WILL: (Options) 1) We will find something together that is safe for you to eat right now. 2) We will eat something in 30 minutes and you can do this activity until then.
Making sure all parties involved have reached a calm state is imparitive when solving a problem. Their are numerous coping techniques to regulate one's emotions, my favorite is breathework. It is important with any problem that the person upset feels understood. Defining the problem is the first step towards resolution. By switching from "I" to "We" you show the other person that you want to reach a solution that is agreeable by everyone, and you're willing to work with them. Now I'm not a therapist, yet, so don't quote me on anything lol. I am merely a human trying to more effectively communicate with others. What techniques do you use for conflict resolution or soothing an angry toddler?